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Top 10 ways that superheroes cool off

All across the country the temperature is rising, it’s August and it feels like it.  In this kind of temperature things are melting, wilting and shriveling, this includes people.  That kind of heat can make you do crazy things.  If you’ve ever had to stay in a non-air conditioned house you know what I’m talking about.  The rotating fan from Wal-mart teases you with a humming breeze of thick air.  You lie in your bed sweating.  How can you possibly sleep in this heat?  Frustration starts to pool like the sweat in your crevices.  You can only focus on the stifling heat that has you by the throat.  The windows are open but the curtains aren’t blowing.  You are clothed in humidity and little else.  Have you ever thought that superheroes go through the same type of heat?  Just because it’s a yellow sun instead of red, doesn’t mean it’s not hot.  Here are some ways that superheroes deal with the unbearable heat.


10. Aquaman tries to direct people to the cool ocean waters.  Citizens mistake him for a strangely dressed cabana boy.

9. Captain America changes his name and moves north.  We’ll miss you, Captain Canada.

8. Kids are busting down playgrounds in a rage because Hulk chased down the ice cream truck, ate a freezer full of frozen treats, smashed the loud music megaphone, and raced off into the distance giggling.

7. Superman’s Fortress of Solitude is overrun with America’s party girl, Paris Hilton and her new BFF’s.  “You know Supes going capeless is oh-so fashionable” 

6. The minions of Doom repulsed by the smell of hot tuna in a can, hide pine tree shaped car fresheners in Dr. Doom's costume.  “Why does Doom smell of French vanilla?”

5. Antman shrinks to the size of an ant and nearly drowns in his own sweat drops.

4. Power Girl floats in a pool without the need for external floatation devices.

3. Daredevil’s forehead drips salty sweat into his eyes, temporarily blinding him.  Wasn’t he already…
2. Gambit in true Mardi Gras spirit decides to wear nothing under the trench coat.

1. Iceman becomes suspicious that people are using him for his icy goodness when everyone laughs at his jokes.


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